Dalawa.

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My time thus far being a mother and wife has been one of the most uplifting experiences in my life. At 29, my family is my biggest accomplishment. I never knew how much I could love until them.

I wish I was able to give them more financially, when pitted up against my husband, my skills and pay rate is very different. We still live in a world where in the job field, women are not equal to men. I am learning this the hard way. I have no formal schooling and stuck doing food service or retail where the hours stink and my time is devoted to serving people and spending most of my time with high school and college kids. If I could have it my way, I would rather spend that time with my kids and husband. Thru the week, I am almost non-existent in their lives since I’m working 50+ hrs a week.

Sometimes I ask myself, how did I get here? Why did I not apply myself into the college thing to get a degree? Now here I am complaining about how everything is currently. Yet as I constantly scroll thru Indeed, put in my resume, create profiles for multiple companies, still nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

So I surrender to low pay, shitty hours and lost time with my family until I retire or die, whichever comes first, I guess.

I have devoted my life to the pizza/food industry. 10 years. I started from the way bottom and worked my way up into a managerial position. They used to call me the garbage disposal. Ha. I would take over red bottom-lined stores, clean up the crew, fire/hire, train & re-train, get the store into the black & then the company would move me to another store to do it again, and again, and again. I finally put in my notice almost 2 months ago & have since found another job. This time with a nationwide financial institution, which I will not name. TBH, I never really believed in the saying, “the grass is not always greener on the other side.” until now….

It really isnt.

 

Isa.

#mamalife is lying in bed at 5:07am knowing damn well that I have to be up in a couple hours and wrangle my two kids together to get them off to school. I know I’m definitely going to hate myself in a bit. Aha.

This swing shift is totally kicking my ass RN. My sleeping schedule is way off and I have never been this way! I am the type that can sleep thru anything! Trust, I was raised in a loud Filipino household who didn’t care what time it was, it’s always karaoke time! Flashback to when I attended a year of high school in the Philippines, my Aunt Tita owned and managed her own carinderia (mom & pop typa quick food service eatery) in the lovely city of Rosales, Pangasinan. I remember late nights being at the carinderia, the wafting smell of Red Horse and cornik while the roaring sound of karaoke music filled the room almost bursting your ears! It is definitely a fond memory that I haven’t visited in quite some time.

Guess I can throw in a few Zzzz’s before my little rascals wake up.

Good morning? Ha. Yeah, good morning.